How  to  spend  less  time  on  your  phone

Writer & Editor

It’s midnight. The house is finally quiet, the kids have drifted off to sleep and the sink is only half-filled with taco-crusted dishes. My body feels weighed down with the events of the day, but instead of crawling into bed to recharge my batteries, I’m draining them with the help of a six-inch screen.

It started so innocently–checking tomorrow’s weather for what kids should wear to school, updating the budget app to see how much money we have left in our eat out line item (spoiler alert - it’s a deficit) and accepting a connection request on LinkedIn. Next thing I know, I haven’t moved for an hour, my left leg is asleep and my shoulders appear to be permanently stuck in a slumped position.

Technology was supposed to be a lifesaver, not a battery drain–how could I have let this happen?

We’re seeing a constant stream of reports, studies and articles highlighting the dangers of social media and excessive screen time (which, ironically, we’re reading on our phones). If you are anything like me, you probably do want to 1) spend more time with your family, 2) read more books, 3) go outside more often and 4) not feel guilty for momentarily ignoring your child when trying to finish a text message. 

But where do we start?

Addressing habits is hard–really hard. In Romans 7, the apostle Paul shares his own challenge of not doing the good things he wanted to do. “... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out” (Romans 7:18). Struggling with habits doesn’t make you less holy–it makes you human.

I have been looking for ways I can improve the balance of family, work and technology in my own life, and I’m hopeful at least one of the ideas below can help you focus your heart and mind on more than your smartphone.

Whenever you pick up a device, those around you (kids, friends, spouse) don’t always know what you are doing. Maybe it’s helpful or feels important, but the person across from you is only seeing the back of your device. To counter this disconnect, Emily Cherkin, in her book The Screentime Solution, suggests describing what you are doing whenever you pick up your device. It can be as simple as saying, “I’m going to check the map to see how far the restaurant is from our house” or “I’m going to send Dad a message to ask him to pick up milk from the store.” Saying something simple like this can help others understand why you are focusing attention elsewhere.

Why am I reaching for my phone anyway? Do I really need to watch a video on YouTube? Is it necessary to check my email for the third time in 30 minutes? For many, picking up a device is a habit, similar to biting nails or twirling hair. It’s something we do without thinking. Next time you reach for your device, take a moment to ask yourself, “What am I about to do?” If the answer is something unproductive, consider an alternative–maybe it’s time to finally get cracking on that book you’ve been meaning to read!

Many devices have built-in trackers that tell you how many minutes or hours you are spending on your device daily and weekly. You can also see a breakdown on which apps you use the most. Take this as an opportunity to create goals. If you use your device three hours a day, aim for two hours daily next week. Seeing this data in black and white can spur you to make a change in how you are spending time. 

There’s nothing like a little competition to get you motivated. Announce a weekly contest with your teens, your spouse or a group of friends to see who uses their device the least. Make it interesting, and attach a prize for the winner–a cup of coffee, an ice cream or the right to pick the next family night movie. This is a win-win: you will be more likely to reduce your own device use while developing support with loved ones and friends.

Creating a landing pad (outside of the bedroom) to place your device helps on two levels:

1) you’re less likely to misplace your device as easily and
2) without the device in your hands, you're less likely to do as much frequent checking.

And, do this early! Is there a need to be checking email at 10 p.m.? Is anyone actually expecting you to respond? You might be dealing with issues at work or an emergency in the family, but consider putting devices “to bed” at dinner time and devoting your attention to family or other activities. Perhaps this is an opportunity to be like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42) to soak in His truth instead of consuming the world’s online version.

Creating a landing pad (outside of the bedroom) to place your device helps on two levels:

1) you’re less likely to misplace your device as easily and
2) without the device in your hands, you're less likely to do as much frequent checking.

And, do this early! Is there a need to be checking email at 10 p.m.? Is anyone actually expecting you to respond? You might be dealing with issues at work or an emergency in the family, but consider putting devices “to bed” at dinner time and devoting your attention to family or other activities. Perhaps this is an opportunity to be like Mary and sit at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:38-42) to soak in His truth instead of consuming the world’s online version.

Many of us have love/hate relationships with the tools that are meant to make life easier. Take a moment to check in with yourself to see how you are using your device and technology tools. If you want to make a change, start today and start small. Resist the temptation to live life by watching it passively online. Set your tech down, and lift your eyes up. Who knows what wonderful things might be in store.